I don't hate anyone....but the HATER. =/

I have a girlfriend, let’s just call her Kelly, who ALWAYS thinks someone is hating on her.

Our conversations go a whole lot like this most of the times we speak:

Kelly:  “Girl, so I just walked in the room and these two chicks standing over by the door, they just turn around and stare at my purse.”

Me:  “Well maybe they liked it.”

Kelly:  “No, them bitches was hating.”

Me:  “Why you think that?  They could’ve been admiring your bag.”

Kelly:  “No, cuz these silly ass women, you know how they are, they always hating.”

Me in my slightly annoyed/saracastic/bored voice:  “For real?”

Kelly in her no-having-a-clue voice: “Yeah, I don’t even know what it is either.”

I give her the annoyed/sarcastic/bored tone because I am so over hearing about bitches hating on Kelly.

Hmmm.
Hey Kelly, I know what IT is. 
It’s YOU honey.

The fact that YOU automatically think someone is jealous of what you have, own, wear, do, just because they ain’t got nothing else to do?  That is a direct reflection on some kinda screwed-up flaw within yourself. 

NOBODY IS HATING ON YOU.

NOBODY IS HATING ON YOU.

NOBODY IS HATING ON YOU.

Sheez, I can’t express this enough.  I hate the person who thinks everyone hates on them.

I guess you can call it reverse-haterism. 

Because any time you think that someone hates on you for no real reason (and many times no inclination for you to feel that they remotely give even the tiniest fraction of a fuck about you), that really says that YOU think you are so special that folks can’t help but hate on you.  YOU think that you are worth this person gathering up all these emotions and then waste them on hating someone they don’t even know. 

SMH.

When a woman stares at me, I think they either like what they see (be it my outfit, bag, makeup, hair, or even me – no homo, lol), they think they may know me, maybe I do look a little off that day (cuz you know, we all have our bad days) or they just have a staring problem.  I really don’t care if I’m stared at.  And never do I automatically jump to thinking that they’re haters.  I mean, really.  The assumption is actually very self-inflating, don’t you think?

Now, all this to say that I know the hater does indeed exist.  I didn’t write this because I am naïve enough to believe that there aren’t actual haters in the world.

I have another friend, we’ll call him Marcus.  He is an undercover hater. 
What is that, you ask?

Well, our conversations go a whole lot like this most of the times we speak:

Me:  “Did you see Jonathan’s new car?  It's nice.”

Marcus:  “What car?”

Me:  “The new Mercedes he just got.”

Marcus “Oh, yeah, I saw it.  The smallest one on the line. (indignant huff), he shoulda got the bigger one.”

Me:  “Well, maybe he didn’t want that bigger one.”

Marcus:  “Naw, he just couldn’t afford it.”

Me:  “You know, what difference does it make anyway?  A Mercedes is a Mercedes.  They are all nice.”

Marcus:  “Yeah but anybody can get the little one.  You gotta get the big one to be ballin’”

Meanwhile, Marcus got an old Honda with weathered burgundy paint and a whole back right fender a different color than the rest of the damn car.  Sigh.

You ever have a friend that no matter what you come up with, they know somebody who got something ten times better? 

“You think that spaceship is the bomb?  That shit ain’t nothin’!  That ain’t nothin’, I’m telling you!  Shit, my homegirl got a spaceship that go all the way up to Jupiter and Neptune AND it knows how to go through the black hole and still make it back to earth!  For real!”

Whew, I MEAN that gets on my goddamn nerves.

The sad part to both of these situations is that they will never understand how wrong they are.  Nobody hates on you Kelly.  Marcus, you are a hater who ain’t got nan-nothin’.  The worst kinds of haters. Brother.  

The hater and the hate-ee. 

What an ignorant phenomenon.

itsrox